Strict

Mai pen rai…you hear that a lot in Thailand and essentially it means no big deal, just go with the flow, or it’s ok all rolled into one lil phrase. I like this saying and recently I realized that perhaps I enjoy it cuz we don’t really have a phrase just like that in English. Or I suppose we sort of do, but it definitely isn’t one of the most proclaimed mantras of our American culture.

Dom is realizing how, in his words, “strict” America is compared to good ol’ laid back Thailand. Like today for example, we went off to the Social Security Administration office in Charlotte. I was going to get a new card since I changed my name because of marriage, and Dom was going to get his first SS card.

While we were sitting in our chairs awaiting our numbers to be called, the security guard at the front desk, a gruff man with salt and pepper hair, a slight pot belly which made the buttons on his navy blue shirt hold on tight, all the sudden seemed perturbed and stood up. 

In a loud, booming, Southern voice he declared, “I see you talking on that cell phone!  I said when you entered to turn ALL cell phones OFF. I did NOT say SILENT I said OFF. If you want to go tell someone I love you, Im coming home for dinner, or I dont like you, please go outside to do so, and don’t do it in here. ” Now he began to stroll around a bit as he continued, “I said OFF because someone may use their cell phone to take a picture of your private information and try to use it. I don’t go into your work place and disrespect you by not following your rules, so please RESPECT the rules here.  Thank you and I hope you enjoy your visit.”

Dom sat stone-faced for a moment or two. 

“Whoa, they are so strict here,” he whispered to me. I nodded, sort of surprised at the security guy’s outburst, but not too much because I assumed anything can happen in a government office.

Dom later explained to me how in Thailand they may have rules like that, but no one really enforces them much, which I definitely noticed while I was there. Driving, for example, they even have handy little traffic signs, but not many people really glance at them much, they are just part of the scenery I suppose.

So now when Dom comes here to drive, sometimes it is hard for him to catch on to the fact  that we have many rules when it comes to driving, and if you ignore them  you could get a ticket and a fine, have to pay extra for your insurance, or of course get in an accident. 

This has caused some scary situations while driving so far because Thailand doesn’t have as many frequent lane changes, super tight exit ramps, stop lights every 100 feet in suburbs, and stop signs you have to completely stop at. In Thailand you dont pull over to let ambulance drivers pass, yield to pedestrians, stop for school buses, or drive slower in school zones, well maybe you are supposed to… But once Dom practices the rules more a bit more, he will be a pro.

I never drove in Thailand (never was brave enough to risk my life or others’ lives on the Bangkok streets), but I wonder if it’s harder for a rule-focused American to drive in mai pen rai Thailand, or harder for a Thai in America. I guess you got it rough both ways.

But Americans aren’t strict with everything, as far as traditions and respect, we don’t hold them up as high as Thais do, but thats for another blog to come…

New York vs. Bangkok

Dominic’s thoughts on New York (just to let ya know, we stuck mainly to Manhattan) compared to Bangkok:

The city sidewalks were cleaner and the air didn’t feel as polluted because you could suck it in easily. There was hardly any traffic in the city streets and they are set up so perfectly and are so easy to navigate, unlike the clogged arteries of Bangkok. The architecture on the buildings was so classic. The subway was super fast and flew down the tunnel like a bullet. The people weren’t too unfriendly, if he smiled at someone, they smiled back.

New insight:

He had never seen what a Victorian-style home looked like and was intrigued by the displays in the MET of them. He asked me if that was how their homes really looked. I had seen pictures in history books many times, read about it in Jane Austen books, seen it in Europe museums, so I didn’t think twice when I went through. But his excitement made me analyze it more in-depth and think about how much things have changed since then and how less formal we are now. 

In Thailand they never had such designs since they were never a European colony. He chuckled when I asked if they had ever had any styles like that in Thailand. We always learned about Europe and our country was shaped so much by it at the start, but how soon I forget that there are many countries that were never touched by its influence.

Perspective

I couldn’t sleep. The anticipation of what was to come in the next few weeks was filling up my brain so much that it exploded, shattering bits of a million thoughts through my head.

Did we have enough luggage or did we still need to find one more bag to complete the six bags we could take back to the States? 

Would my mother-n-law really flirt with a member of my family and try to wheedle them into marrying her as she hinted she would do? 

How should I do my hair at my American Wedding Part 2: down curly, half-up curly, or straight? 

Should I buy an iced cappuccino tomorrow or am I drinking too much coffee these days?

And the list went on, but slowly my brain began to fixate on writing. Could I write for a newspaper? What could I write about now that I would be leaving Thailand, a land which has inspired me so much over the past 2 years? How could I find inspiration in my hometown of Waxhaw, N.C.?

Finally a clear thought began to settle in my mind and the others seemed to dissipate like fog as the day brightens.

My Thai husband could be my inspiration, the part of me that has never lived for an extended period of time in America. I could help Americans see their country with fresh eyes.

So this blog was born in my dreams especially for you, who might have become tired of America, to see it with a bit of a new perspective. 

Here we go, America: Through an Immigrant’s Eyes.